"I just don't know if I can bear it,'' I tell husband.
"You can tell him we can't come because we have other commitments.''
"Yes, um, `Hi! Dr. Friend? We are unable to come to your wedding because we have to watch my flowers blossom.''
On Thursday, we fly to America to attend the wedding of a friend from college. There will be many friends there, some my very dearest. On the way, we will stop at my sister's house to gather up as much cuteness from her offspring (oh, and to borrow her car! thanks, sis!) as a human can bear. My sister has promised me a trip to a knitting store so I can stock up on supplies. I've even ordered clothes to be delivered to her house and hair conditioner to be brought home.
A week ago, this may have delighted me. Now, I look at my `garden' (a.k.a. a collection of potted plants and think of all the blooms I will miss. I am seriously considering asking my cleaner to come an extra day just to water them and, oh, to take pictures of what I will be missing.
I almost skipped home from work wondering what awaited me. Could the first rose have popped? I wondered with glee.
It had not. Which means I have two more days of hoping before I will surely miss the window.
This has taught me two things:
Clearly, I am not ready for motherhood. Can you imagine if I missed any seminal event? I cannot stand missing a flower. What about a first step?
Also, next summer, perhaps I should buy some plants that BLOOM AT DIFFERENT TIMES rather than the ones that look best in the flower store, maybe?
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We do hate to miss those things that mean so much to us, but flowers will bllom another day and perhaps you will be around to witness those.
I don't think you can realistically compare waiting for a flower to bloom and supporting a child. More to the point, if you can afford to give a flower that much love and admiration, it sounds like you'd have plenty to give to a child and still have some left for the roses.